Does it suck?

Listening to: “Gathering Stories” – Jónsi

It’s not been getting much better since I blogged last. It isn’t that the happy is easy to get out of, or that I’ve been letting myself fall into a really bad kind of rut. I just feel like whenever I write something, it should be something worth reading.

The ideas are still coming, and I’ve written a couple of them down, but for the most part, I have been good and loyal to the whole idea of focusing. Even though I haven’t really written since things went nasty on me.

Mostly because they are still quite nasty. Today was an unexpected break in the clouds, mostly because I was able to make it to the guild meeting last night. Because of that, my eomeonim helped me get started on an 11/14 cross-stitch that I am quite jazzed about. I worked on it this morning, while watching Aria the Animation.

There’s something about that show that is very dependent on my moods. When I first watched it, I think I was feeling pretty good. Not angry at anything, not at all expectant. Just curious and hoping for something… quality.

And I loved it. The atmosphere of this anime is so mellow, I can see why it has three series, specials, and an OVA. Just watching it is severely relaxing. Music, watercolour visuals, and the story is completely stress-free.

But I think today I couldn’t decide what I wanted, and so nothing could deliver. I started to think that Aria really doesn’t deliver anything. You get out exactly what you’re putting in.

Sort of makes me think of another anime I started watching recently, but I already ranted out loud about Natsume Yujin-cho, so I probably won’t ramble and repeat myself.

I did start writing again, but I only got a little. The chapter was giving me a lot of trouble, to the point that I started to think I had to start over completely. The pacing seemed to be way too slow, and I was accusing every character of being boring, the title not getting its justice, no action…

But the outlining and some of the actual writing has helped me get over my spaz attack.

Veeery slightly modified (seriously, one word) text to share. This conversation is step one in making Cedric work. It’s kind of crucial.

“I’ve always thought it was hard enough just wearing clothes.”

Weak knees while laughing was a particularly bad hazard for the taller set. Natalie had to lean against the shelves to keep her balance.

She stopped laughing when she realized that Cedric was not joining her. His expression was darker, deep lines cutting into his face. “Did I miss something?”

An unpleasant shiver rippled through Natalie’s torso. She pressed her lips together and widened her eyes, turning away. “Apparently I did. Were you serious?”

“I’m always serious.”

“You are not. I’ve seen you smile.”

“Serious doesn’t mean unhappy.”

I don’t want to stop where I have, but I can feel my patience running out. I’m antsy today. Dunno why. Maybe if I go back to working with my hands in a not-typing way, I can work off some of my excess but not energetic energy.


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