LFG

I’ve never really played online miltiplayer games. Most notably (and possibly just), Kingdom of Loathing  with my brother and Guild Wars with my husband. …my real one. Although I am not big on these games, I do know something about the culture. And I’ve read 1/2 Prince.

But I really like stories set in games like that. My favourite is Epic, because even though the game literally defines their lives, the player-citizens are completely aware that it is not reality. An important part of reality, that is not really seen as a game anymore. But the separation is nicely done.

In contrast, I have very little patience for MMO stories where the players seem to forget that they are playing a game. 1/2 Prince really straddles the line, but .hack//SIGN goes right off. In these kinds of stories, no matter how much game lingo or visual implications that the setting is a game world, all of the characters act as if the game world is the real one. The real world where it matters if things or people die, where ideals related to that world must be protected, and so on.

In .hack//SIGN, this makes me feel like I got stuck playing Star Ocean: ‘Til the End of Time. In a word: disappointed.

And all of that was a tangent caused by my dumb post title. Choose your words carefully, you might end up interrupting yourself.

For those who, like me, have to ask what some acronyms mean, LFG is apparently “looking for group.”

I miss collaboration. I’ve had a few collaborative projects go sour–once the other people involved not only concocted a nasty way to ditch me, but also stole a few of my ideas from a couple of our collaborations. But that can’t ruin collaboration for me.

But how to find a “group”? It’s not easy. For me, anyway. I’ve tried to interest different people in roleplaying, interactive fiction, writing projects. Nothing. It’s very discouraging, and it makes me feel like I don’t have anything to offer. Or maybe I just feel bad, and I’m beginning to infer things.

When I was actively involved in several collabs at once, it was the highlight of my day/week to write an update or read one. Now I barely feel like I have an audience. It’s no wonder that I can’t finish another novel. Sure, I enjoy writing for myself. But I’m not all that bothered about reading the ending sometimes.

Leave yourself alone for too long and your mind starts playing tricks. I think mine has access to a jokes shop.

I don’t think I have anything I want to accomplish in writing this post. It wasn’t fun, and now I’m not even sure of what it was that I wanted to say. It’s just…kind of depressing. Oh well. Better out than in, I suppose.

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