> Investigate downstairs

This is a collaboration with Dither. I don’t know if there is actually a reading order, but it started here. Actually, I think they’re sort of running parallel, so I have no idea how to suggest reading that.

> Investigate downstairs.

Feeling like AN IDIOT, you switch the torch off and amble down the hall towards the stairs. There are a few dumb ROOSTER statues on the steps, but you are used to avoiding them.

The house is silent. This could mean that the BUGABOO finally got your SISTER, or that she is just taking an epic nap. She does that.

You saunter through the living room, trying to regain some of your earlier confidence, but there is just no way to look cool in a pleasant country farmhouse stuffed with birds and colonial furniture.

> Kick a ROOSTER.

Oh how much you would love to kick one of the dreadful stone birds. But your SISTER is cosmically attuned to those things. If you so much as raise a leg not unlike a naughty dog, she would be on you like sharp on a KNIFE.

Come to think of it, that might be a good way of getting her to show up without having to look for her.

You kick a ROOSTER.



Looks like you’ll have to find her yourself. You hope the BUGABOO didn’t really get her.


Shrugging, you start towards the STUDY. There is a comfortable couch in there, and the THINGS always seem to leave that room alone. It also houses your COMPUTER. You have one in your bedroom, but it’s not as HIGH TECH. And you broke the screen while practising throwing KNIVES.


Your SISTER pounces on you, wielding a SWITCH.

This is not the kind of SWITCH that turns on lights or processes and routes data at the data link layer of the OSI model. It is a flexible rod made of HAZEL, used in corporal punishment. Your SISTER uses it to punish you because she is a BIRCH. …wait.

Flailing under her merciless blows, you regret kicking the ROOSTER.


Her oppressive, superior fashion sense traps you in her RAINBOW BANGLES and COOL SCARF. You cannot escape.


Drawing your KNIFE, you make threatening stab motions. This does not faze your SISTER. She knows that you would never hurt her. It is no secret that you are really just a BIG SOFTY when it comes to ALTERCATION with humans. If only she was an ELDRITCH TERROR. Then you’d show her.

> Laney: Cut HAZEL SWITCH with KNIFE.

Struck with inspiration, you stop your empty stabby threats and swing your KNIFE in a powerful arc towards the SWITCH. Hazel is a tough wood–at least, you think so, after being hit with it so many times–but your acuate KNIFE slices through it without a problem.

Your SISTER stares at the pieces of her SWITCH with affected disinterest.


Satisfied that your family is safe, you put your KNIFE away and retreat into the STUDY. All of this running around has made you long for the sedentary glory of sitting in front of a COMPUTER.

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