> Finn: Put that DRAGON in its place

Previously, on GoldStruck!

This remains a collaboration with Dither.

> Put that DRAGON in its place.

That is exactly what you will do. When you can stop running.

Snow is worse than water for slowing a guy down. At least you can swim in water. Without your feeding gear, you are VULNERABLE, but you are also able to make full use of your SPEED without taking a hit to your STAMINA. However, there isn’t a lot of inherent COMBAT ADVANTAGE in either without also dealing DAMAGE.

Libertina is right behind you, so close that you can feel her breath disturbing your GREAT HAIR. You spin round, sliding in the snow in a careful crouch, and bring your GUN to bear on one of her huge yellow eyes.


Your GUN is SUPER INEFFECTIVE against DRAGONS, remember? Firing on Libertina would only waste ammo and PISS HER OFF. You only aimed at her in the VAIN HOPE that she would balk at the sheer force of your BRAVADO.

But maybe there’s an alternative.

> Hug your knees to your chest and pretend to be a DRAGON EGG.

Now that is without a doubt the best idea that could have possibly come to you at this point in time. Except isn’t because it is so mind-numbingly STUPID.

Libertina roars at you. Smoke begins to billow in her open mouth, black as pitch and fluffy as the snow around you.

> Use GUN to create AVALANCHE.

For that, you would need to be near a peak. You would also need to be capable of starting an AVALANCHE with a single BULLET.

You roll out of the way of Libertina’s snapping jaws. Although you manage to land mostly upright, you got a bunch of snow in your mouth and up your nose while rolling. Your VISION is OBSCURED.

> Wipe away snow to restore VISION.

There is not any time. You shoot blindly, then feel all of the remaining heat drain from your face as a whale-like bellow fills the air. Whatever you just hit, it was not the sort of thing that would cause an AVALANCHE.

You wipe away the snow and blink away the freezing sting as you stare red-eyed into Libertina’s dripping jaws.

> Shoot DRAGON in gaping maw.

Panicking, you do just that. The bullet ricochets off a few of her razor-sharp TEETH, only to soar harmlessly into the snow.

But what is this? The vibrations of the ludicrous ricochet seem to have bothered Libertina. She shakes her head, momentarily closing her mouth.

> Capitalise on this change in developments.

Giving a HEROIC roar of your own, you leap into the air and pounce on her snout. You lock your limbs around her mouth, holding it shut with all of the strength that your skinny body can sum up. Libertina squawks deep in her throat, and steam begins to dribble out of her scaly ears.


With a great jerking motion, you use your own body weight and hold on Libertina’s snout to turn her head around. Hopefully she now faces her enclosure, but you can only tell by using the sun’s position and what little you can see of the landscape on either side of Libertina’s head.

Now to get her moving forward.

> Wiggle posterior in facsimile of carrot and stick.

As stupid as that undoubtedly is, it might work if Libertina’s eyes were not placed in such a way that she cannot perceive anything between her eyes. Which is exactly where you effectively are.

> Let go with one arm to wave in front of giant yellow eye.

Libertina shifts, falling into a dead run. You are cooking with petrol now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s