Fairy Tales Are Not “Full of It”

For some reason, this morning I had the song “Payphone” stuck in my head. I don’t really like it, the singing sounds really whiny and the lyrics are the sort of thing I could have a brief argument with.

Which is what I have to write about in the hopes that it’ll get this stupid song out of my head. Someone might notice that the lyrics I will quote are from a radio edit. This is because the vulgarity that is apparently present in the original lyrics is exceptionally stupid.

Mainly it’s about four lines that bug me. “If happy ever after did exist / I would still be holding you like this” contains a grammatical error because they couldn’t be bothered to rewrite the line so that it matched the music and also a very pathetic assumption. That assumption is the sort of thing that fuels millions of whiny squeals of how “unfair” life is.

That assumption? That because you are not happy, happiness is non-existent. This can be said in many ways and it’s the basis for a lot of stupid bullcrap. People unlucky in love assert that there is no such thing as love, that it is a lie, that no one ever really loves anyone and just pretends, ad nauseum. This is the worst kind of company-loving misery.

(that’s another thing. “misery loves company” doesn’t mean that sad people want to be around others. it means that miserable people want to make others miserable.)

I guess it could just be me, hating this kind of selfish stupidity. I don’t like it in prose or movies, either. It’s in tonnes of them. Heck, Brer Rabbit tales have it in at least one retelling. “That’s not fair” spouted upon one character being told that another character is  getting paid a lot to do a ridiculous job. I ask you.

The other two lines that bother me are, “All those fairy tales are full of it / One more stupid love song, I’ll be sick”.

Because the other point is the meat of what annoyed me, I’ll address this one first: I can’t really sympathise with the idea of being sick of hearing love songs because of a break-up. But then, aside from listening to “Alone Again So” (which is instrumental and slightly upbeat) by Kid Loco at least once when something in my life ends or leaves, I don’t let things like that change my music-listening habits.

Fairy tales are not full of anything but fantasy and maybe moral messages. I’m assuming that this loser is saying that fairy tales promise that love is wonderful and works every time because that’s the way the story goes. Or else they promised it to him and he didn’t get it? It’s confusing. And stupid.

I’ve read a lot of fairy tales, and I have to say, I have never understood people who rag on them as depicting strife-less love or perfect happy endings, or lying to children about how love really works. Has anyone read The Enchanted Pig? Or The Six Swans or Princess Rosette? Fairy tales are not like the beginning of Enchanted. A lot of them don’t even have love in them. Look at Why the Sea is Salt and the Emperor’s New Clothes. (also, children are not that stupid. even stupid children.)

Stop ragging on fairy tales because you screwed up your love life. They are a rich part of culture that deserves a lot better than whining from a bunch of losers who think that Disney is a curse word.


2 thoughts on “Fairy Tales Are Not “Full of It”

    • That’s a great overall interpretation. They were an important part of my development as a kid. I picked up Andrew Lang’s Red Fairy Book and started making connections that prepared me for Aarne-Thompson typing.

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