Because We Know This Does Not Exist

Still doing quite poorly. As is evidenced by my internet absence, heh. My arthritis has worsened (storm before the calm, we hope) and I’ve also started taking less medication. The winter weather also works against me, so that some days it’s a miracle that I ever leave my bed and shower.

Pregnancy is interesting. I did not think ahead in regards to morning sickness, but I tend to get it in 24 hour variants… with no vomiting. Bloating is a bigger issue, and the fatigue that knocks me out to the point that I actually passed out on Sunday. There are two camps on my aversion to food–those who aren’t worried and those that are. I mostly just want food of every kind to leave me alone, almost all the time. I don’t have the energy to worry about it.

I’ve been re-reading the Acorna series. It’s simultaneously exactly the same and not at all how I remembered it. A few minutes on GoodReads let me know that there are a lot of people who share my updated opinion of the first book, at least. But I’m still disappointed. Not one of them mentioned the two biggest problems with the book.

Not first, but for some reason the most obnoxious, is that the “child slavery is bad” message is embarrassingly heavy-handed. I don’t know who the message is for, either. Watching every single character react in the exact same way to these horrors is irritating, even boring. It underlines how weak and samey they already are. Even people who have the same opinion don’t express it the same way.

But no, they all have that same gasping indignation and heroic DC pose. They are all melodramatic. We must to sabe deh childrens! No one pretends to be indifferent. No one refuses to believe it’s going on. No one tries to justify it. No one genuinely refuses to care.

There is one option, and it comes in one colour.

The other thing that bothered me and no reviewer seems to have picked up on was the pathetic way that the writers (yup a collab) failed at writing children. The titular character enters the story at what is generally assumed to be early childhood very soon after infancy. She ages at a stupidly fast rate, which anyone can recognise as a bad/lazy writing standby, and aso learns incredibly quickly.

She also never talks like a child. There are near constant excuses for it, except when it’s supposed to be cute (which it isn’t), so they had to be aware. She can say palladium and iridium without impediment, but slurs valuable. Precocious children use full sentences. Especially one who is for all intents and purposes, four years old. My niece is 18 months old, and she says things like, “But I want that” and “No, that’s mine.” She doesn’t drop words.

She also doesn’t giggle for no reason. Why do writers keep doing that? Having kid characters gleefully use idiotic words like “confuzzled” and giggle and clap like they’ll receive a reward for it. It’s like some kind of shared delusion or brain fever. I’ve seen it so much that reading it in this book honestly disorientated me. I thought I was reading some terrible writing by an amateur I used to know.

It also bothers me that Acorna’s species lacks mammaries, yet feed their young with milk in bottles. But maybe there’s an argument for that.

And this has mostly diverted me from what I’d meant to write about, which is a good thing. I’ve written about it before, so it’s kind of been said, and it’s also immensely depressing.


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