Character Depth – Age

In a perfect world, people still would not act so similarly that their different stations in life would be indiscernible. I’m sure that more than one children’s book has tackled the issue of grey blobs and everyone being the same.

That is not a perfect world. It is a badly-written YA novel. I’ve already brought up the sameyness of the characters in Melissa Marr’s novels. It gets worse than that. At least most of those characters are the same age.

Now try to pick up Tiger’s Curse. The first seven chapters are available online, and it doesn’t take long to see the cringe-worthy bits.

Skipping over the prologue (because that’s such a flipping draw), the main character, Kelsey, has the most unrealistic job interview ever. Not only does it serve as the cheapest Author’s Notes In Narrative since description through a mirror, but the interviewer acts bizarre in order to facilitate it.

Kelsey offers more information than anyone wants–readers included–and is prompted for information that she would not be asked for in real life. Just so we can be clumsily told that she’s an orphan. As well as how her parents died.

Just telling that to a stranger? She strikes me as creepy. Attention-seeking at best.

And then she’s handed the plot coupon. Oh yes, jobs placement officer, ask for her parents’ names and then instead of asking what she wants to do or what she’s qualified for, just hand the kid an ad. This is apparently the only job going.

I’m all for conservation of detail, but this is utterly absurd.

I actually gave up on the book about halfway through the next dumb scene. Now that we know poor widdle Kelsey is an orphan (in the most ham-handed fashion possible), her foster parents are introduced.

She treats them like classmates. Not that she’s horrendously rude, but respect is noticeably lacking. Worse, they act like her classmates, both in general behaviour and their interaction with Kelsey. It doesn’t make her look mature, and it doesn’t make them look laidback. It makes the author look incompetent.

No one in this book is over seventeen. It’s common knowledge that most writers can’t write kids, but apparently YA writers can’t write adults either.

I could probably go on, but I have to give up this topic. My computer is being a POS, so I had to tap this out on my iPad–and the @$!?-ing USELESS WordPress app is bloody broken. The editor is stuck on landscape mode (ironically to fix a glitch that had it stuck in portrait mode) which is THE MOST PAINFUL WAY TO USE THE IPAD KEYBOARD.

This has been a crappy morning. I want to take my cane and lay about the moron who fixed this app by effing breaking it more.

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