Not such a fan of storms anymore

This one, I actually noticed. It was probably right above, rocking the building and generally making the sort of racket that I used to like. It didn’t wake Owen or scare him or anything–he still woke up on his own about when I expected him to–but the weather change just about devastated my physical condition.

I had a preview of how nasty my pain was going to get. I was unable to move and ended up napping through fireworks with Owen. I could barely walk–and I do mean barely–and my hands and fingers could neither exert pressure nor lift objects. Or the baby. I could hold him, but I couldn’t pick him up out of his swing or carseat.

Waking up about 3:00 was even worse. Most pain I’ve been in possibly ever. It was incredibly surreal, to be sitting on the edge of the bed in the near-dark, with only a lava lamp and the flashing storm. Owen was yowling-ly hungry, and went through two nappies and one impatient moment that would have been another nappy. For some reason, it was also really hot.

Flipping misery, I was. It’s a wonder I got the last nappy on him, with hair and weeping in my face. Ugh.

Hubby had to basically maunder about helping me until… I think half-past four. He’s still asleep, and I should probably go get a nap m’self, but I keep hitting these periods of being too wired.

Maybe if I read for a little while, I’ll pass out and then wake up when my Kindle hits me in the nose. This kind of thing happens, after all.

Owen is eating a lot now. One might even say that he’s ravenous. Just in time to be just about entirely on formula. I’m already on methotrexate again (awaiting news on Enbrel), which is a no-no for breastfeeding. But apparently after a few days of discomfort, my body will stop thinking like a cow and I’ll be comfortable again.

I refuse to feel guilty, and if anyone tries to tell me to, I’ll deck ’em. My son needs a functioning parent more than he needs breast milk. He has formula and seems to like it well enough to drink 75-90 mL every feeding time.

He was born early because of a storm, and my pain level went insane because of this last one. I used to really like storms. Now I wonder whether I pissed off Thor at some point.

Hubby says that Owen is a storm god. I think this may be accurate.


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