It seems like every time I come forward with a project on my blog, it doesn’t happen. That strikes me as funny. Because if you don’t laugh, what else is there? Camp NaNo went fine. I reached 50K. But I do not have a finished product that I like. Luckily, that wasn’t the reason I did that this month.
I just wanted to write. Every day. There were some days that I didn’t get to write, even set my daily goal at zero when I knew I wouldn’t get to write.
Then when I started phasing a different project, since writing a phase outline was something else I wanted to do, I got to about chapter six or seven, right after blogging about what I was doing, and then pfffft. It was not going to work, I couldn’t continue. But I learned something from that and started again.
I may change the title, because it’s one of my favourites and it doesn’t really fit anymore. But I finished the outline today. I didn’t think I would. When I first opened my word processor this morning, I cried. The story had gone onto this tangent that I had no control over. I needed an infusion of Nabokov. I wish I wrote like he did.
Then I went back, and I identified where the tangent started, and what was wrong with it. I threw away several pages of outlining. Four or five chapters, spliced or removed entirely. If it had been at the prose stage and not an outline, that would have been massively, massively difficult. I have a hard time throwing stuff away when I don’t have a clear idea of what will take its place.
And I finished my outline the same day it reduced me to tears. The tangent went away, I re-characterised one of the characters completely, and I ended the story where it should have ended.
The outline is shorter than it was yesterday, since I was flailing with the continuing tangent. But it’s also about the length I had planned for it to be. I don’t know if I want to start writing today or tomorrow. I feel a little drained, and I kind of want to read some books.
But I did it. It feels good to complete something, even if it’s only the first step.