Winging It – D&D 3E

Since we’ve had some schedule upheaval, the one guy in our gaming group with a fixed schedule nearly had to drop out. This will not stand. :| So we’re playing a more flexible style of game on Tuesday. Third edition D&D. First session was just messing around, but it got Conrad a name (Flattop the Dwarf, as he fell on his head from a great height) and I played a bard named Strong Bard, with a long string of gnomish traditional naming after that.. Also, we had a mercenary contingent of three dwarves named Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur. One of them got a crystal exploded through his face.

Yesterday was the first official session, but we kept our two previous characters. 3E does not faff about, guys. We lost our mercenary contingent to a swarm of midges in two turns. It took a bit longer than that to realise they had been dead for a while, but we didn’t regret setting the midges on fire after all.

Grimer the Halfling got his name by jumping into the Bog of Eternal Stench as we all ran away. He was the slowest, as one might guess. Worse things also happened to him. He went comatose thanks to charisma drain… And I’m getting ahead of things.

Owen’s been laid a bit low with a cold, so I had to get him into the bath for some relief. All I managed to get while he was in the bath was that the party heard a melodious, Tim-Curry-like evil laugh. My first thought was this:


But then I heard someone say tree, and I just went, Oh. Hexxus. So our game is totally taking place in Ferngully now.

hexxus tree

After I got Owen out of the bath and into a towel, the plan seemed to be to make a fake (insubstantial) tree and entice Tim Curry from the real tree in to the one that would fade. This would defeat Tim Curry without having to swing a weapon. I failed my Diplomacy check, but the others started in on saying how great the (fake) tree was, and something about a god that I don’t think Tim Curry liked. I think Reverse Psychology was involved.

But when he went into the tree, and realised he’d been had and things got ugly. The tree took on a life of its own thanks to Tim Curry’s evil power, and we had to roll initiative, because things just got real.

If we lost the fight, then Tim Curry would have been free to roam the land, wreaking havoc. There was a lot riding on this. He also couldn’t be hurt by physical attacks. I’m a bard, so I just made something up. I tried doing the Time Warp again, but that didn’t do much.

Then we tried to summon David Bowie. I honestly don’t remember why that, of all people, was the person we all thought of.

In any case, we failed to compel him to come in person, but he did grant my bard the power of his aspect. Strong Bard became not merely Strong Bard Chapbo Thickwit Schleppman, but Strong Bard Chapbo Thickwit Schleppman the avatar of David Bowie on this plane.

By standing in awe of me, Conrad gave me a +1 to hit Tim Curry. I sang Changes I think in the summoning, so I had to accept physical changes.


I stepped in to save Grimer, but it didn’t quite stick and he ended up with the whole charisma drain thing. Now he has charisn’tma. So Garrett had to roll up a new character. But we defeated Tim Curry largely thanks to the power of David Bowie.

And then a shark or something bit me in the head. It was getting late and I was falling asleep by that point but I remember having to choose a scar.

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