Listening to: “Delicate” – Damien Rice
I feel like I have completely lost touch with NaNoWriMo over the past few years. And not just because I haven’t really done it since I got married. Even before I left, the cheery, over-pepped atmosphere gnawed on my nerves like a raccoon with an orange. Participants I knew routinely acted like NaNo doesn’t have rules (guess what, it does), and many, many others thought that it made them so special that they had full rights to hold court over their friends and acquaintances.
I never liked the Young Writer’s Programme. Maybe I’m a jerk, but I remember when I first started doing NaNo officially. They collected donations to build libraries in Laos. When you compare that to encouraging a kid to do something that they’ll probably do anyway (writing tends to be hard to kill, people who are gonna write are going to effing write), it looks like a big fat waste of money.
And yet. Almost every email that I get is a beg for money. I belong to a lot of mailing lists that ask for signatures on petitions, phone calls to politicians, and monetary donations. NaNoWriMo emails started to look like these. I understand about server costs. I know that they are a non-profit, and that web site goes down every single year as its users basically destroy it with their Day 1 usage.
But the tone is really obnoxious. I feel like I had this casual friend with whomI used to have a lot of fun, and now he’s suddenly wearing home-made sandals and living in a pineapple field and all he’ll ever talk about is this charity that I don’t want to give any money to. He tries harder, by wearing funny hats and using as many gimmicks as he can think of, but suddenly I see all the falseness in everything he does. He tries too hard, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and sure, he manages to finish a novel every year, but no one wants to read any of them, including his mum.
This is some of the nastiest disillusionment ever. I don’t remember my password, I don’t feel like even lurking in the forums anymore, and I feel like November just doesn’t matter anymore, beyond finals, my sister’s birthday, and Thanksgiving.
I have an idea.
Maybe it’s worth trying one more year?