Unrequited Paladin


Listening to: Elkbeer kbeer – Amr Mostafa

Writing-wise, I whiffed it yesterday. Got a paragraph and two lines of dialogue. One of them is so snarky that it harkens back to Gideon’s original characterisation. Which is technically not good. It’s so much easier to write romance when they’re being morons about their feelings. But now one of them is being less of a moron and embracing the feels, so I just can’t even.

Today, we’ve got library D&D. I’m half-tempted to take Hubby and sit out so I can get some more writing done, but I really really want to play my characters from this campaign.

Most of us only play one character–for one thing, that’s the usual way of things. For another, there are enough players for three tables now. But in our regular campaign, we got used to having a roster of many characters each. And somehow I inherited one of Hubby’s callow youths just as he became a paladin.

My regular character is a warlock named Lurlene. She’s a private investigator, but not a terribly good one. In some ways, she’s a bit like Trixie from Black Jack Justice (minus the really shitty behaviour). One day, we were all in a town and the inn prices got stupid because the innkeeper was racist and we had tieflings. So Lurlene went in search of a bunk up with a hot guy.

She’s engaged to a duke now. The rolls were all uncommonly in my favour.

This happened right before I inherited a paladin. I named all of them after Pythons and Hubby decided they came from the same orphanage and so shared the surname of English. So mine is named Michael English. He’s an elf with a dexterity of 6. If you play D&D, you’re already making one of these faces:


If you don’t, then hopefully the graphic helps. It’s appalling. It should never happen. He basically can never do a ranged attack, because it’s just pathetic.

My story reason for him being my other character–because the other ones just got inherited and then dropped and one is dead (yes, that one. it just happened)–is that Lurlene’s ducal fiancé hired Michael as a bodyguard. Since Lurlene knows the Hunger of Hadar, she has no need of a bodyguard. So she was just using him as a sort of PA. She actually sent him to get coffee while the party was in a refugee camp called Coyote’s Refuge.

But while he was gone, the party got attacked by some thugs who wanted our pavilion. We’d worked hard for it. We bought it for a song from a guy who’d just done a mass murder. Lurlene used Prestidigitation and Mending to fix it up. It was OURS. I don’t remember it clearly, but I think it was one of those near thing fights that could have gone really badly.

Michael made a vow never to leave Lurlene’s side again. To the degree that for several fights after–at least three sessions, which is a big deal in a game that goes semiweekly–he stayed in the back with her. She’s a ranged fighter, she’s got two Eldritch Blasts and some other spells like Shatter. Michael owns a longbow. His dex is 6. He usually misses and he doesn’t do a lot of damage. Because he had to stay close and protect her.

Then he started to go out and do damage up close. He’s a melee fighter, it’s what he should be doing. He trusted Lurlene to hang back and not do anything stupid. More than once, he’s been the star fighter who dealt the killing blow and most of the damage. In a fight against three baby dragons, we had two healers who focused on keeping Michael alive because he was the one dusting the monsters, and because they picked up on the fact that I really cared about this character.

Lurlene and Michael work together now. She drops the Hunger of Hadar and he works with other characters to keep the monsters in Cthulhu Space. He rushes enemies while she wears them down. Everybody focuses fire. A ranged spellcaster and a melee fighter.

He hit level 5 last time I played (gah that was yonks ago) and I realised that I hadn’t chosen an oath of devotion for him. I looked them over and decided on the Oath of Devotion.So now he’s the goody-goodiest of paladins. He’s devoted to being upstanding and moral.

And he’s in love with an engaged woman. She doesn’t know. It’s horrible and beautiful and unrequited.

I don’t usually care for tragic romance, but the fact that this came up completely organically just tickles me. I love that I have characters with inner turmoil in a game that I rarely get to play. Other players give a damn. One of them asked to be Lurlene’s bridesmaid and even drew her character in a dress.

So that’s why I’m not going to sit out. I need some time to recharge on writing anyway. I read Saga and I’ve got another comic I want to read, as well as My Wicked, Wicked Ways. Maybe I’ll take a break to read.

Probably not.

Last night, I had a bicker with Hubby that nearly ended when he juxtaposed us over my characters. So surreal. I don’t know if it helped me writing-wise, but it was weird. He’s such a great hubband. Last night was kind of just weird in general, but I have already gone on waaaaaaaay too long as it is. Gotta write for at least an hour before we leave.


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