Another cycle renews

Listening to: lots of Chinese Pop (Jackson Wang, Joker Xue, Meng Jia…)

Happy New Year! Have a baby picture.


I really ought to have known that being off medication for over two years, having a baby, and then continuing to go without medication for the sake of breastfeeding would make blogging a tactical impossibility. I just didn’t want to admit it, and that swiftly became something I pretended I could deal with later. As I often do.

One of my major difficulties is facing problems. I don’t always come up with excuses, but when I do, I let them ease my sense of guilt and wind up failing to improve. But it’s a new year.

Plans for moving forward that are set in stone:

  • I am resuming a medication regimen at the end of February. I will not be happy about this, as I’m already struggling to be ready, and one does not simply stop breastfeeding cold turkey.
  • I will write a review for The Belles either this week or the next. I was amazingly lucky in being chosen for an ARC, as all I had done was wishlist it months ago. Since I went dark on the blog and NetGalley, I feel like this is kind of a sign.
  • A week of book reviews so that my blog is current and that review doesn’t come out of nowhere or look lonely.
  • Updating three days a week.

Plans for moving forward that are up in the air:

  • A return to regular book reviews. I really want to do this, but technically nothing has changed. I still have extremely reduced use of my hands and extremely increased pain in my hands and wrists. But wishful thinking may be safely stated if I don’t make myself too many promises.
  • Freewriting. I miss doing this. Again, hand problems remain a thing.
  • Updating daily.
  • Recaps. I recently discovered Recaptains, and it’s great, but they seem to have a strong YA focus. I’m rereading Johannes Cabal and Maiden Lane this year, so the thought crossed my mind. I may also just do something like Tor’s Re-reads.

This blog is always going to be on my mind, whether I’m doing anything with it or not. I’ve left and come back many times. My life isn’t the same if I’m not leaving or coming back.


Book Sorting 1 of ?

This has not been going as well as I had hoped. First off, the books that thought I had in storage are either in the house, or hidden in the back of the storage unit. So some of the books that I have been missing, are still unaccounted for. However, I still have a boatload of books that need sorting.

Some of them are in paper grocery bags, while others are in lidless boxes or in my many many library bookbags. I delved into those and found a lot of books I’m not going to read. Off to donation they will go. Mostly thrillers and the kind of suspense novels that aren’t my thing. I like to think that I can and do read everything, but there are still some genres that I am not enthusiastic about.

Although I’ve only gone through one box and about four bags, I suppose I feel accomplished. I needed to streamline my personal library, and although I was more invested in finding those storage books, I did find some books that I’m excited to add to my shortlist TBR when I’ve cut my current one down a bit more. (it’s still over 40…)


  • ​Some Liz Carlyle Historicals, like The Devil You Know
  • Harlequin Intrigues
  • Kanji dictionary Hubby is gonna need.

On a rather unrelated note, I am still exhausted thanks to the dietary needs of my sweet baby. I thought that I was being super smooth, writing this and the Tash Hearts Tolstoy review ahead of time, but then I realised that I scheduled them for the wrong year. After languishing out the week, now the blog looks like it’s supposed to, and hopefully I won’t make such a dumb mistake again. At least, not the same one.

Adventures in sleep deprivation may well reveal new dumb things of which I’m all too capable.


The Best of Baby Updates!

Jackson is here! He was born not long after midnight on July 25th, tiny and perfect. I had to take this picture quite close in order to make him look bigger. He’s seriously a little bitty peanut.


Anyone who follows me on Twitter already knows this. It wasn’t exactly live updating (labour was short but INTENSE) but 140 characters and a photo is easier than actually remembering my laptop so I could write a blog post. As much as I considered early baby, and I tried my best to prepare everything beforehand, it still took me totally be surprise. ^^; I forgot my toothbrush, shampoo, laptop, and shoes.

Recovery is going to take awhile. My arthritis has flared up drastically, and this is my first time not relying on formula. So any time my underweight baby wants to eat, I’m the only one who can feed him. Underweight means that he eats basically all the time. But we’re lucky that there’s nothing wrong beyond his needing to eat more. I guess I just have tiny pixie babies.

I had originally intended to put up some kind of notice when I went into the hospital, but that didn’t happen. S’pose I shall have to settle for taking the week off and then resuming. I read a couple of books that had been on my list for some time. I also have SO MANY THOUGHTS about a lukewarm romance. Reviews are coming.

Also, with the arrival of baby Jackson, we’re overhauling our living space. Since I can barely walk (yay post delivery pain) I can happily focus on all of the good of this situation. Like getting a mini fridge! Seeing all the weird use of space and moving boxes! Sorting baby clothes! But the best part is a project that I have been wanting to get to for months: sorting the BOOKS. I’ve found myself missing books that I bought and had to put in storage when we moved ages ago. I’ve also read things I do not want to keep (Oh Seduced by Mr Right, how could I have known you would go so wrong?) and books that I will totally read someday but wouldn’t mind swapping storage status with something I want to read sooner.

There may be pictures if I can find some particular gems. I will certainly stop mid-work to read. In particular, I know I won’t make it past the first A Lee Martinez book I find. And Fly By Night needs to be found so I can reread it again and then put it next to Fly Trap. I may also have a second copy of the former with the original title.

It’s nice to be back. I’ll still be running on very little sleep. But I’m back. :D


Hurry Up, Kid

Baby update: still not born. I’m not even in the hospital yet. On Sunday, I was having these crazy contractions and I was super sure we’d have to interrupt laundry day to go to the hospital. But no. I timed them, and they were irregular. Just Braxton Hicks. Coincidentally, I’m reading The Eyre Affair right now, and there is a character named Braxton Hicks in it. I kept waiting for there to be more of a joke to his name, actually.

I am on track, at least. I don’t think I’m going to go ridiculously past my due date, and I still have this sort of early feeling. But that might just be that I’ve gotten used to expecting to be early. Who knows. There’s a thunderstorm warning out today, which of course puts me in mind of how my first baby was born. Without warning! During a storm! Because of the storm!

He still is a storm, my goodness.

I’ve slowed down a lot. Tonnes of arthritis flare-ups and one of my knees is twice the size it ought to be whether I’m flaring or not. Jackson has dropped fairly low, so my belly is lower and crazy unwieldy. I drop things all the time. Klutziness abounds. Sometimes I can’t even read because I either cannot get comfortable, or because I pass out due to fatigue. Nothing so bad as when I was pregnant with Owen and I couldn’t get through Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. That remains my record for times fallen asleep reading.

Hospital bag is packed, Owen still needs an overnight bag, and I should really get through all of my library books…


Wednesdays are baby doctor days

I am too fatigued to function. I saw a different doctor today, because mine is out of town. He suggested iron supplements, but they apparently wouldn’t work for a week. So I’m going to carry on exhausted for a while longer.

It seems like I don’t have any time until midnight approaches. I remember way back when I could do daily posts, but I may have to change it. Not just to accommodate the way things are right now, with fatigue and the happy fun sarcastic times of being less than a month away from my due date, but also to make scheduling some posts for while I’m gone more do-able.

For now, let’s say Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and alternating between Saturday and Sunday.


Baby update – 35wks


I thought I posted this yesterday, but apparently I dreamed it.

Nick and I listened to Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood, and it was quite an experience. I suppose it’s on the shorter side, but we still went through it in about two sessions of sitting, both in the evening. Every time I’ve seen Trevor Noah interviewed or any of his stand-up, it has struck me that this man has a powerful insight to share. Just about any time I hear him speak, I come away with something valuable–a fresh perspective, a desire to better myself in knowledge or the practise of compassion. When we weren’t listening to the audiobook (it’s something we did together, and I wanted to keep it in sync), I went back and reread what we’d heard in the Kindle edition. I loved this book.

Yesterday was a good day to hear the second half of the book. I had my 35 week OB appointment, which was my first one ever. It’s not as boring as my last appointment was. I’m apparently not rushing towards the finish line, which is kind of cool. This is the most pregnant I have ever been! I feel like a first-timer all over again. If I make it to Sunday, I am dubbing Jackson “The Patient One.”

My cold/flu (whichever it is) is still very much in evidence. Sometimes it knocks me out like a tonne of bricks, and other times I swear I’m almost better. Then I’ll run a fever and throw up. I checked the calendar–it’s been almost four weeks. This thing better pack its bags before I do.


Not in Hospital just YET


Although it was rather a near thing.

I contracted a nasty cold that may actually have been flu, or it was one and then t’other. There have been fever, hallucinations, and much less pleasant things. I could joke and blame the books I was reading at the time, but I could barely stay awake to read. This has been going on for days. Years? I’m still rather sick and not entirely clear.

Basically, I’ve either been asleep or in a fugue state. Today is the first time I’ve managed to touch a computer without wanting to put my face through it. Dang bright screens. I hope to get a review written for The Gunslinger, which I suffered through despite my extremity, in time to post it by this evening or tomorrow morning.

Fortunately, neither colds nor flu can bring on labour, so that’s one worry with which I haven’t had to contend. Even so, I’m 34 weeks and three days on. Last time, this would have been a week before giving birth. I didn’t see that one coming, so if it happens again, I’m sure I’ll be just as surprised. (and a bit peeved, since I’ve tried to prepare) Crossing my fingers that we’ll make it at least another two and a half weeks.