(Romantic Sub)PLOT TWIST


Listening to: Rabbit Down the Hole – Billy Talent

Last night went pretty well. I got a little written for that bitch of a chapter, and it got the ball rolling enough for me to actually write at all this morning. I made both of the phlebotomists laugh and I fixed a lost writing problem. Also got some more of that bitch written. But mostly today was just transit and bullshit.

The library got a buttload of Pathfinder standups! Or whatever you call them.


I want some of my own, these are all gorgeous.

These are the best minis for a character I’ve ever had. Lurlene and Michael look so awesome. <3 It was also a great session. We had a small group for once–which I prefer. My favourite players were there and Chrissy did a really good job DMing. I had the most fun.

Some pirates took us to this deserted island so we could visit the Princess Sorrow’s grave and bring her body back to her grieving father. A few characters got seasick, and then we were attacked by a hydra. Seeing as Michael’s bow skills are still revoltingly dreadful, he jumped off of the boat to attack it up close.

He even managed to avoid a fireball from the warlock (is that what she plays? All I remember is her name is Flameness and she gets teased for it) because the hydra bit its own head off attacking him and he fell into the water.

Then the mf climbed back up to slash at it again. LIKE A BOSS.


The bossest boss.

Mr Boffin turned an encounter with seven (nine?) vampire spawn into two by turning them. It could have gone really dire, too. We still took ages to kill the ones that made their saves. Then we had to split up so that only about half the party went into the grave to get Sorrow. Obviously Michael and Lurlene stick together, but I was willing to stay outside if someone wanted that.

The rogue failed to unlock the grave two or three times, which gave the head vampire lady time to come after us. That was a surprisingly okay fight, since Lurlene was dealing out 30-33 damage per turn.

Michael got all noble about burying two of the pirates who got squished by a rock, and he worried about the vampires, but people managed to talk him into coming back later to wipe them out.

The pirate captain was not happy about the other two pirates being dead thing, so Lurlene spun a wild (and thoroughly untrue) tale about how they fought bravely and she owed them her life. This brought a tear to the pirate captain’s eye and he gave her a silver piece for making him feel. He still charged us more for the ride back, but she’s keeping that silver piece on an effing necklace.

After the game, one of the kids asked me when Lurlene was actually going to marry her duke. And someone from our regular game realised that the town/city he was in was sacked. So the duke might be dead.

I decided that because she’s an adventurer, they were secretly married before she left in case anything happened to her. BUT SOMETHING MAY HAVE HAPPENED TO HIM. So next session, I’m gonna bring this up, because if he’s dead, Lurlene may be a widowed duchess, and Michael may have a shot.

But will the noble idiot take it?

It’s almost like a Bollywood movie. :D


Unrequited Paladin


Listening to: Elkbeer kbeer – Amr Mostafa

Writing-wise, I whiffed it yesterday. Got a paragraph and two lines of dialogue. One of them is so snarky that it harkens back to Gideon’s original characterisation. Which is technically not good. It’s so much easier to write romance when they’re being morons about their feelings. But now one of them is being less of a moron and embracing the feels, so I just can’t even.

Today, we’ve got library D&D. I’m half-tempted to take Hubby and sit out so I can get some more writing done, but I really really want to play my characters from this campaign.

Most of us only play one character–for one thing, that’s the usual way of things. For another, there are enough players for three tables now. But in our regular campaign, we got used to having a roster of many characters each. And somehow I inherited one of Hubby’s callow youths just as he became a paladin.

My regular character is a warlock named Lurlene. She’s a private investigator, but not a terribly good one. In some ways, she’s a bit like Trixie from Black Jack Justice (minus the really shitty behaviour). One day, we were all in a town and the inn prices got stupid because the innkeeper was racist and we had tieflings. So Lurlene went in search of a bunk up with a hot guy.

She’s engaged to a duke now. The rolls were all uncommonly in my favour.

This happened right before I inherited a paladin. I named all of them after Pythons and Hubby decided they came from the same orphanage and so shared the surname of English. So mine is named Michael English. He’s an elf with a dexterity of 6. If you play D&D, you’re already making one of these faces:


If you don’t, then hopefully the graphic helps. It’s appalling. It should never happen. He basically can never do a ranged attack, because it’s just pathetic.

My story reason for him being my other character–because the other ones just got inherited and then dropped and one is dead (yes, that one. it just happened)–is that Lurlene’s ducal fiancé hired Michael as a bodyguard. Since Lurlene knows the Hunger of Hadar, she has no need of a bodyguard. So she was just using him as a sort of PA. She actually sent him to get coffee while the party was in a refugee camp called Coyote’s Refuge.

But while he was gone, the party got attacked by some thugs who wanted our pavilion. We’d worked hard for it. We bought it for a song from a guy who’d just done a mass murder. Lurlene used Prestidigitation and Mending to fix it up. It was OURS. I don’t remember it clearly, but I think it was one of those near thing fights that could have gone really badly.

Michael made a vow never to leave Lurlene’s side again. To the degree that for several fights after–at least three sessions, which is a big deal in a game that goes semiweekly–he stayed in the back with her. She’s a ranged fighter, she’s got two Eldritch Blasts and some other spells like Shatter. Michael owns a longbow. His dex is 6. He usually misses and he doesn’t do a lot of damage. Because he had to stay close and protect her.

Then he started to go out and do damage up close. He’s a melee fighter, it’s what he should be doing. He trusted Lurlene to hang back and not do anything stupid. More than once, he’s been the star fighter who dealt the killing blow and most of the damage. In a fight against three baby dragons, we had two healers who focused on keeping Michael alive because he was the one dusting the monsters, and because they picked up on the fact that I really cared about this character.

Lurlene and Michael work together now. She drops the Hunger of Hadar and he works with other characters to keep the monsters in Cthulhu Space. He rushes enemies while she wears them down. Everybody focuses fire. A ranged spellcaster and a melee fighter.

He hit level 5 last time I played (gah that was yonks ago) and I realised that I hadn’t chosen an oath of devotion for him. I looked them over and decided on the Oath of Devotion.So now he’s the goody-goodiest of paladins. He’s devoted to being upstanding and moral.

And he’s in love with an engaged woman. She doesn’t know. It’s horrible and beautiful and unrequited.

I don’t usually care for tragic romance, but the fact that this came up completely organically just tickles me. I love that I have characters with inner turmoil in a game that I rarely get to play. Other players give a damn. One of them asked to be Lurlene’s bridesmaid and even drew her character in a dress.

So that’s why I’m not going to sit out. I need some time to recharge on writing anyway. I read Saga and I’ve got another comic I want to read, as well as My Wicked, Wicked Ways. Maybe I’ll take a break to read.

Probably not.

Last night, I had a bicker with Hubby that nearly ended when he juxtaposed us over my characters. So surreal. I don’t know if it helped me writing-wise, but it was weird. He’s such a great hubband. Last night was kind of just weird in general, but I have already gone on waaaaaaaay too long as it is. Gotta write for at least an hour before we leave.


There’s a reason for the “yay”

My one and only posted about his time playing Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One (are there supposed to be spaces in the subtitled phrase?), which I think I digested via airwaves. I played a little, but I was summarily poor at it–platformers either like me or sneer at me–and ended up just being on hand to help swear at the screen whenever necessary.

I’m very good at that. Writing makes me good at making up euphemisms and vulgarities that aren’t.

Anyway, most of what I really picked up beyond mechanics that were missing or didn’t work, were in the cutscenes. I really liked the cartoony descriptions of the weapons. Although I don’t think the story was any great shakes, the subtext was hilarious.

We’ve all seen that movie or read that book/comic/fanfic. The one where the villain is brought in as part of the crew and fits in a little too well. Sparks may fly, or they may be merely joked about.

Or you get both and it’s so clear and present that the subtext becomes context, and you get a romantic subplot that you did not sign up for. I like those kinds of things.

Qwark and Nefarious had scenes together that told a sort of James Bond meets Bogart kind of largely imaginary plotline. Attempted murder turned into life-saving. The once-villain bitch-slapping the current villain away from A Certain Someone. Betrayal followed by lip-trembling contemplation of a group photo.

It really does stop being subtext at some point. Once it becomes your story’s context, it’s a subplot. Which I find even funnier than the implied joking.

As creepy as it is that some people don’t just say “Character x Otherone”, I find that just about all the fun is in just saying it. But there could be a little more to love here.

Or not.

The point is that as often as I have seen this, it’s never been quite this funny before. I think it was the conversation about man-hugging.